Feeling Erased: Reclaiming Presence After Trauma
One of the most profound and lingering wounds of psychological trauma is not merely the memory of a threatening event, but the pervasive sense of being erased. This is an existential injury. Survivors often describe feeling invisible, as if their core self, their needs, their very reality, has been canceled or rendered unimportant. This sensation of erasure originates in traumatic experiences where their autonomy was violently overridden, their boundaries were shattered, or their cries for help were met with indifference or denial. In those moments, the fundamental human need to be seen, heard, and valued was not just neglected. It was annihilated.
This manifest erasure can take many forms in a survivor's life. There is the chronic feeling of being a ghost in one's own life, moving through the world unseen. It can appear as a deep inability to trust one's own perceptions, a constant questioning of "Did that really happen?" or "Am I overreacting?" This is the internalization of the erasure. When a survivor's reality is denied, the mind learns to doubt itself. Relationships often mirror this dynamic. Survivors may find themselves perpetually in the role of listener, never feeling entitled to share. They may attract or tolerate relationships where their needs are consistently sidelined, unconsciously recreating the original dynamic of dismissal.
Somatically, this erasure is felt as dissociation, a feeling of being untethered from the body, numb, or unreal. The body itself becomes a site of silence, its signals of distress or pleasure muted because, historically, those signals did not matter. The voice may become physically small, the posture may collapse inward as if to occupy less space, all bodily echoes of the message that one does not deserve to be here.
Healing from this felt sense of erasure is not an intellectual process alone. It is a gradual journey of reclamation that must engage the body as the seat of lived experience. The path toward feeling important and seen again begins with the counter-intuitive act of turning inward, not with judgment, but with gentle curiosity.
Somatic psychotherapy focuses on this precise point. It supports the survivor in developing what we call interoceptive awareness, the skill of noticing internal bodily sensations without becoming overwhelmed. This simple act of noticing, of feeling the weight of the body in the chair or the rhythm of the breath, is a radical defiance of erasure. It is a statement: "I am here. I feel this." Each time a survivor acknowledges a bodily sensation, a feeling, or a need, they are writing themselves back into existence.
The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a vital arena for repair. In a space where the therapist consistently attunes to the survivor's experience, validates their perceptions, and respects their boundaries, a new model of relating is built. This consistent, empathetic mirroring slowly challenges the old, internalized narrative of invisibility. The survivor begins to internalize the experience of being heard, and thus starts to hear themselves. From this foundation, they can practice the vulnerable work of external assertion. This might start small, like expressing a preference for where to have lunch, and build to setting firmer boundaries or sharing an authentic opinion. Each act of assertion, met with respect, reinforces the neural and somatic pathway that says, "I matter. My presence has impact."
Healing is not about forgetting the erasure but about building a self that is substantial, embodied, and aware, so that it can no longer be dismissed. It is the slow accumulation of self-witnessed moments. It is the growing capacity to say, with the full authority of the body and mind integrated, "I am here. My experience is real. I count." The journey from erasure to embodiment is the journey home to oneself.
