The Cycle of Violence and Its Impact on The Body
The cycle of violence in relationships is a deeply ingrained pattern that extends far beyond physical harm. Emotional, psychological, and verbal violence can leave lasting imprints on the body. Violence in relationships often follows a cyclical pattern, characterized by periods of tension building, explosive incidents, and reconciliation or calm. This cycle can manifest without physical contact, yet the somatic consequences are profound. The body does not distinguish between physical and non-physical threats; it responds to perceived danger with the same physiological urgency, activating the nervous system in ways that can become chronic and debilitating.
When violence is non-physical, such as gaslighting, verbal abuse, or coercive control, the body still registers it as a threat. The autonomic nervous system shifts into survival mode, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this constant state of hypervigilance leads to somatic dysregulation. Clients often present with chronic pain, digestive issues, migraines, or autoimmune disorders, unaware that these symptoms are rooted in prolonged exposure to relational trauma. The body holds what the mind cannot process, and without intervention, these somatic markers of distress persist long after the abusive relationship has ended.
The tension-building phase of the cycle is particularly insidious because it primes the body for threat. Subtle cues such as a partner’s tone of voice, a dismissive gesture, or unpredictable moods can trigger a physiological response. The body braces, muscles tighten, and breath becomes shallow, preparing for an explosion that may not come in the form of a physical blow but as an emotional onslaught. When the explosion occurs, whether through yelling, manipulation, or silent withdrawal, the body’s stress response is fully engaged. Later, the reconciliation phase in the cycle of violence can trigger a robust physiological response. After the explosion, whether emotional or physical, the nervous system has been flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
Once the situation calms, especially when there is an apology, a promise to change, or an affectionate reconnection, the brain shifts into a reward state. Dopamine, often associated with pleasure and reward, surges in response to this perceived safety, creating a powerful sense of relief and hope. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, further reinforces the emotional attachment, fostering a deep desire to trust and reconnect.
However, this biochemical response can resemble addiction. The body's relief from prior distress feels intensely gratifying, almost like a "high," leading the person to seek out that cycle again, even unconsciously. The nervous system, conditioned by repeated experiences, begins to associate the extreme lows of conflict with the extreme highs of reconciliation, reinforcing a dangerous pattern. Over time, the body's reliance on these neurochemical shifts can make it harder for individuals to break free, as their physiology has adapted to the cycle. True healing often requires retraining the nervous system, fostering resilience, and building self-regulation to break the conditioned response.
While all this is happening in the body, it is essential to remember that the body may relax temporarily, but the nervous system remains on high alert, anticipating the next cycle. This chronic dysregulation can lead to conditions like fibromyalgia, insomnia, or anxiety disorders, as the body struggles to return to a state of safety.
Healing from relational violence requires somatic awareness. Traditional talk therapy alone often fails to address the embodied trauma stored in the nervous system. As a somatic psychotherapist, I work with clients to gently reconnect with their bodily sensations, helping them identify and release stored tension. Breathwork, grounding techniques, and mindful movement can support the nervous system in recalibrating to a state of safety. The goal is not just cognitive understanding but somatic integration, allowing the body to recognize that the threat has passed.
Breaking the cycle of violence begins with recognizing its full spectrum. Emotional and psychological abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence. The body knows this truth even when the mind resists it. By listening to the body’s wisdom, survivors can reclaim their sense of safety and agency.
