When Cultural Scripts Fail Survivors of Coercion and Manipulation

Many survivors of coercion and manipulation carry the weight of experiences they cannot name. They speak of relationships, workplaces, or family dynamics that left them feeling violated, drained, or trapped, yet they struggle to articulate why. The absence of physical violence does not mean the absence of harm, but our cultural scripts often fail to provide language for the subtle, insidious forms of coercion and manipulation that leave no visible marks. Survivors are left grasping for words, doubting their own perceptions, and wondering if what happened to them was "bad enough" to count as abuse.

Dominant narratives about harm tend to focus on overt acts like physical violence, loud confrontations, or clear cut threats. But power operates in whispers as much as shouts. Gaslighting, guilt tripping, emotional withholding, and the slow erosion of boundaries are all forms of psychological coercion that lack a clear cultural vocabulary. Without this language, survivors may default to minimizing their experiences, saying things like, "It wasn’t that bad," or, "Maybe I’m just too sensitive." This is not a failure of the survivor but a failure of the scripts we’ve been given.

The body, however, often remembers what the mind cannot yet name. Clients describe somatic symptoms such as a tightness in the chest, a hollow feeling in the gut, or a sense of being "frozen" when recalling interactions that felt off but defied easy explanation. Somatic therapy can help bridge this gap by attuning to these bodily signals, offering a pathway to reclaim the truth of one’s experience. Yet even this process can be fraught when the broader culture lacks frameworks to validate such subtle violations.

To heal, survivors must first be able to name what happened. But when cultural scripts are inadequate, naming becomes an act of resistance. It requires rejecting the narrow definitions of harm we’ve been handed and trusting the wisdom of the body. As therapists, we must help clients expand their vocabulary, not just to describe their pain but to affirm its validity. Coercion need not leave bruises to leave wounds.