"Am I Really Neurodivergent?" When Imposter Syndrome Makes You Doubt Your Diagnosis
Even with a formal diagnosis from a psychologist, many neurodivergent individuals grapple with a persistent and unsettling doubt: What if I’m not actually neurodivergent? What if I’m just lazy, dramatic, or fooling everyone, including myself? This specific flavor of imposter syndrome is painfully common among autistic individuals, those with ADHD, and others whose neurocognitive functioning diverges from the dominant norms. Many neurodivergent people intellectually accept their diagnosis but still feel, deep down, like they’re somehow "faking it." This self doubt isn’t just a passing thought, it can undermine self trust, stall self advocacy, and perpetuate cycles of shame and burnout.
A key reason this doubt takes root is the internalized ableism many neurodivergent people absorb from a society that prizes neurotypical standards of behavior. If you’ve spent years masking your traits to fit in, you may have developed a disconnect between your authentic self and the version of you that the world rewards. When you finally receive a diagnosis, it can feel like an identity crisis rather than a validation. If I’ve managed to "pass" for so long, was I ever really neurodivergent? This line of thinking ignores the immense effort masking requires and the toll it takes on mental and physical health. Somatic therapy can help bridge this gap by guiding you to notice where your body holds the truth, perhaps in the exhaustion after socializing, the relief of stimming when no one’s watching, or the visceral discomfort in environments that others find neutral. Your body knows what your mind sometimes refuses to believe.
Another factor feeding this doubt is the stereotype that neurodivergence "looks" a certain way. If your ADHD doesn’t match the hyperactive little boy trope, or if your autism isn’t the socially expected caricature, you might feel like an imposter in your own diagnosis. Neurodivergence is a spectrum, and its expression is as varied as the individuals who embody it. Yet when society (and even some clinicians) focus on narrow definitions, it’s easy to gaslight yourself into thinking your struggles aren’t "real enough." Therapy can help you untangle these false narratives and recognize that your experience is valid—not because a diagnosis confirms it, but because you live it every day.
Healing this form of imposter syndrome requires both unlearning and reclaiming. Unlearning the idea that there’s a "right" way to be neurodivergent, and reclaiming the right to define your own experience without comparison. It also demands compassion for the part of you that doubts. That doubt likely grew from years of being misunderstood. The goal isn’t to eradicate uncertainty entirely (that’s rarely possible) but to soften its grip so it no longer dictates your self worth. You are not a fraud. Your neurodivergence is real, and so is the strength it takes to navigate a world not built for you.
