How the Body Responds to Feeling Seen and Heard

As a somatic psychotherapist, I often witness the profound shifts that occur when a person feels truly seen and heard. While we tend to think of emotional validation as a mental or verbal experience, the body responds in powerful, measurable ways. From a neuroscientific perspective feeling acknowledged activates our social engagement system, regulates our nervous system, and can even alter our physiology.  

The Nervous System’s Response 

When someone listens to us with genuine presence—without judgment or interruption—our body registers safety. The vagus nerve, a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system, helps regulate our heart rate, digestion, and stress response. Research in polyvagal theory (Porges, 2011) shows that when we feel heard, our ventral vagal complex (associated with connection and calm) is activated. This can lead to:  

Slower, deeper breathing – A sign of relaxation, as opposed to the shallow, rapid breaths of anxiety.  

Reduced muscle tension – Especially in the shoulders, jaw, and belly, where stress often accumulates.  

A regulated heartbeat – Heart rate variability (HRV) improves, indicating better emotional resilience.  

Conversely, when we feel dismissed or ignored, the body may shift into a fight-flight-freeze state, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.  

The Release of "Feel-Good" Chemicals  

Being seen and heard doesn’t just calm us—it can also create a biochemical shift. Positive social interactions trigger the release of oxytocin, sometimes called the "bonding hormone." Oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, reduces fear, and even diminishes physical pain (Uvnäs-Moberg, 2003). This is why a kind word or empathetic gaze can feel so nourishing—it literally changes our body chemistry.  

Additionally, when we express ourselves and receive attuned responses, dopamine—a neurotransmitter linked to reward and motivation—is released. This explains why we feel lighter and more energized after a meaningful conversation.  

The Body’s Memory of Validation (or Its Absence)  

Many of my clients carry somatic memories of times they were unheard—perhaps a childhood where emotions were dismissed or relationships where their needs went unmet. These experiences can manifest as chronic tension, digestive issues, or even autoimmune conditions as the body holds unresolved stress.  

However, when someone finally feels witnessed in therapy or in a healthy relationship the body often responds viscerally:  

Tears – A release of held emotion, often accompanied by a sense of relief.  

Sighing or yawning – The nervous system discharging stored tension.  

Warmth or tingling – Increased blood flow as the body moves out of defensive states.  

Practical Ways to Cultivate Being Seen and Heard  

1. Practice attuned listening – When someone speaks, put aside distractions and notice their nonverbal cues (facial expressions, posture, tone).  

2. Validate first, then problem-solve – A simple "I hear you" can be more regulating than immediate advice.  

3. Check in with your body – After a conversation, notice: Do you feel tense or relaxed? Heavy or light? Your body will tell you whether you felt truly received.  

A Somatic Exercise to Try Now  

Take a moment to notice how your body feels after reading this  

1. Pause and breathe – Place a hand on your chest or belly. Inhale deeply, exhale slowly.  

2. Scan for sensations – Where do you feel openness? Tightness? Warmth?  

3. Ask yourself – Did any part of this resonate deeply? See if your body responds with a sigh, a deeper breath, or a shift in posture.  

This simple check-in helps you connect to the wisdom of your nervous system—because feeling seen starts within.  

Final Thoughts  

Feeling seen and heard isn’t just an emotional experience—it’s a biological one. When we offer deep listening to others (and seek it for ourselves), we’re not just being kind; we’re supporting nervous system health, emotional resilience, and even physical well-being. The body remembers every moment of true connection—and heals in its presence.  

Would love to hear your experiences—when have you felt deeply heard, and how did your body respond?  

References:

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation.

Uvnäs-Moberg, K. (2003). The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping the Hormone of Calm, Love, and Healing.